This story is courtesy of Laura Holt. Actually, her brother Edwin, who is the lucky one to be blessed with a slew of children. Mom, Dad, aren't you glad that you didn't have any problems like this with me and Allison, the sweet angels?
Here's the story:
So my nephew William is now 13...nearly 14, and it seems that he has discovered the wonders of internet porn.
Edwin and Jennifer have two computers in their home - one in the family room, and one in the children's playroom. Both computers are located where everyone has access to them at all times, and are in full view of everyone. The other night, Jennifer went to the playroom and was faced with a locked door. It took William a good five minutes to get to the door to let Jennifer in. Since Edwin was in Dallas, she called him and said "Uhm...William was in the playroom with the door locked. What should I do?" Edwin said, "Wait ‘til he goes to bed, then check the history and give me a call."
About 10:30, Jennifer calls and says "William has been on every porn site known to man. What do you want me to do about this?" Edwin told her to take the aircard out, keep quiet, and that he would see her tomorrow and they would figure something out."
For those of you that don’t know my brother, he doesn't just punish you for doing wrong - he likes to get back at you in a "Cruel Intentions" kind of way.
Edwin arrived home the next day about 2 pm and waited for William to get home from school. William breezed in the door about 3:30 and went straight to the playroom. About five minutes later, he was in the family room and said "Dad, there's something wrong with the internet. I can't get it to work." Edwin said "Well, I just checked my e-mail and it seemed to be working fine. Why don't you get on the internet in here in the family room?" William just kind of looked around and said that he was going to go try and fix the internet in the playroom and see if he could get it working.
FOUR HOURS LATER, William comes out of the playroom and says that he wasn't able to get the internet to work. Edwin just says he's sorry and he doesn't know what to do.
The next day, Edwin calls one of his designers and has him pull the logo for their internet provider and lays out a letter which states that due to a high volume of pornographic viewing, their internet service will be cut off. It is signed "Head of Pornagraphic Investigations", saved as a PDF, and sent to Edwin, where it is printed out, folded up and added to the mail.
The next morning, after a bit of coaching, Jennifer goes out to get the mail and brings in the "letter" from their internet service provider. Since it is Saturday, William is at the table, having his cereal, getting ready to mow the lawn. Jennifer says "Edwin, we just got a letter from our internet service provider saying that they are going to cancel our service because someone has been looking at pornography!" Edwin grabs the letter from her, reads it out loud, and says "Well, our line must have crossed with the neighbors, because no one in THIS house has been looking at pornograophy on the internet! I guess I am going to have to go talk to all of our neighbors and see who has done such a thing.”
William continues to eat his cereal, while breaking into a cold sweat. Edwin drops the letter on the table and leaves the room. About 10 minutes later, Edwin comes back in the breakfast room and Jennifer says "William, would you like to tell your father what you just told me?" And William says "While listening to iTunes, I may have accidentally looked at one or two inappropriate websites."
Edwin took him into the playroom, pulled up the history on the computer and said "One or two sites is an accident, my son. This is not an accident."
Needless to say, the computer in the playroom is now gone. And William has learned about computers and their histories.
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Friday, November 02, 2007
Al shared with me the pictures from her 20 Year High School Reunion -- Brookfield High School, in Brookfield, Connecticut. She wasn't able to make it, but did get the photos. Her message when she sent it was "No, i didn't go. here are the pics dave asch sent. do you recognize half the people? We don't all look that old, do we?" So, when I clicked, I figured that I would recognize everyone.
Nope. Thank god for name tags or I would have had a lot of problems recognizing people that I spent a lot of time -- friends, boyfriends, teammates, etc. Makes me want to pull pictures of me from high school to see how much I've aged.
All I can say is "wow." I haven't seen many people from high school since college. Haven't seen many people from college either. Makes me want to pull my old yearbooks and check things out.